Wishes

I wish, it was easier for me to say, "I love you"

I wish, I could tell someone how much I truly miss them

I wish, I could say out loud how much I care

But I can't

I want to...

Do you have any idea how hard this has been for me? 

Why can't I just let go and move on....why????

A Completely New Book

That's right. It ain't gonna be a new chapter, but a start for a whole new book!

Believe it or not, I'm a working adult now. I'm currently working in MRSM G****. It's not in my homeland, but luckily it's not that far away from home either (about 3hours drive if you're the safe-slow type).

I'm still trying to get used to the new culture there. The place is almost a total opposite of the previous school I was in...I'm talking about the culture and acceptance of English so it was a bit of a culture shock when I first got there. You know, when a 14 year-old ask you in class, "Miss, do you like sarcasm?" you can help but feel thrown aback by it. I mean, the first time I ever understood (or even heard the word) was when I was in college, doing my A-levels...and I'm an English teacher for God's sake!

Apart from that, nothing really changes. I'm still broke. Most of the time, I'm on my own. 

At home, things don't look too well for my parents...

My dad seems a bit more easily tired than usual...he sleeps more, moves slower and his hearing is also not as it was before...and this all happened after his blood-pressure incident last December...

I hope things don't get worse for both Mom and Dad while I'm away.

And I'm Gonna Wrinkle My Way Through...

I've been seriously concerned about these laugh lines that's been appearing on my face since the last few months...maybe it's been there longer but I never took note of it..who knows

But with the way things are going right now, I don't think I'm gonna get any younger in complexion soon...

The thing is, I've finished studying (officially, YAY!!!!) a few months ago but I am yet to graduate due to the ceremony being held in May instead of November...so yeah, my status as a graduate right now is kind of a blur...same with my job status

I'm literally JOBLESS and BROKE right now!

My sponsor/employer has yet to inform us of where and when we will start working...

My Mom has been talking about money and loan non-stop since the middle of last year...

Our family seems to be getting into one thing after the other and it's drying us up financially bit by bit...

And I have basically RM0 income untill the third/fourth month of my working period.....

and the worst thing is, there is absolutely NOTHING I can do to make things any better for my family, or myself!

I guess I'm gonna get more and more wrinkly just trying to get through all of this.........

So what?

Dude, it's been a while...

It has...you've been pretty content so you never called out for me

Suppose so...

So, something buggin' you?

Kinda...I'm getting sick to my stomach thinking about it

What

LOVE...FUTURE...RELATIONSHIP...FORTUNE

That's a truckload worth of stuff man...heavy

I know

What're you gonna do about it

Dunno

Have anyone you love?

A lot

Have a future?

Think so

Have a relationship?

The usual

Feeling fortunate?

Blessed is more like it

So?

"So what?", I guess...

Exactly,..."so what"

The Sweetest Gift

Why does he have to be 10 years younger than me?

I'll pray for your happiness kid. I'm sure you'll make your future partner the happiest person alive...

You're already making my life brighter with your light 

Thank you for everything

(^ w ^) 

Eid

After three years of celebrating Eid with tears thousands of miles away from home, I'm finally here eating ketupat and rendang with my Mom. 

Bliss

But at the same time, I feel like crying 

(it's probably just my hormones kicking in)

Like, how would you feel if you tell the person you love more than your own life a very important matter, but he/she just simply says, "NO!".

I don't understand why nobody in my family (apart from my Mom) won't listen to what I have to say...

I'm not asking them to buy me a car

I'm not asking them to change my line of work for me

I'm not even asking them for pocket-money

I'm simply asking them to listen and understand 

I guess once a kid, always a kid...

Nobody ever listens to what a kid has to say.........

Eid Mubarak

Long Time No See...Miss Insomnia

It's been a while since I've trouble sleeping

I'm beginning to wonder if that coffee really is decaffeinated....

=__________='

Anyways, I'm swamped with assignments now

I've one due on Friday and two due next week....

And another one a week later

The thing about doing post-grad papers is....

The assignments are sooo damnnnn longggg...

I'm talking about the word limit....

*sigh*

That aside, 

It's gonna be just a week or so left for us to have fun here after all the assignments are done

I wanna give Bella and Sya something

As a way of saying thank you for being such wonderful family for me all these years...

I wanna give Lala something

As a way of showing how much I appreciate her all these years............

I want to make something special for the class for our farewell dinner....

BUT

I don't have any moneeeeeeyy~~~~!!!!

(Y o Y)