Yes, I Actually HATE Losing

I don't think I'm a sore loser or anything like that, but I do know that I hate to lose.

I'm not exactly a fan of being on top of the pack either...but I dunno...

sometimes I just get this weird sensation in my stomach when I see someone goes a step further than I do...

Maybe it's what people call, 'jealousy'

But still, I absolutely hate to compete!

Once I realize there's a competition for something that I want, I'll back off straight away!

Dunno why,...though there's a possibility it's because I know I'll hate it if I compete and lose....

So I usually just drop out silently...

That's what happen everytime I fall for someone.

Once I fall for the guy, I usually have the tendency to appeal a bit here and there

but once I realize that there's another girl who's on the same track as me, I'll back off.

Just like that~

Same with the things that I do, for example taking photos.

Once I realize that there's a dozen out there who are doing the same thing, I'll back off.

So I'm basically slacking off a lot with my 400D nowadays 

because it's (a weeeeee) bit irritating to see anyone and everyone holding a godamn DSLR everywhere...

I mean, I don't wanna be the only one doing it, but I don't wanna be one in a thousand who's doing it either....

It's just........boring that way

So I dunno, is it really jealousy or is it just a thing with not wanting to be the same as everybody else...

I am well aware that I hate being or having the same thing that everyone else has though...

I like them 'limited edition' things....though I've never bought anything LE my entire life...

oh wait, I have! a DVD! teeeheee ^^

That's why I like to get clothes from OP shops and stuff. 

Because the clothes are either from waaaay back so nobody else wears them anymore, 

or they're from somewhere who-knows-where so nobody around you have the same thing.

I mean, I can't afford to get something from Gucci or Chanel, so OP shops are more economical y'know

*Sigh*

I don't like to feel this way about things though...

'Cause it gets so damn tiring to care about anything and everything~